I was diagnosed with clinical depression two years ago after my mother brought me to the Institute of Mental Health following a suicide threat. I was then in secondary three and felt immense pressure from school, especially from my CCA batchmate’s hurtful words. I was unable to concentrate and fell behind in my studies. There were also frequent quarrels at home. I finally broke down after many years. When I told my psychiatrist about the violence at home, I was surprised by her shocked reaction. All along, I thought my father’s violence was normal and happened in other families.
Shortly after starting therapy, I began having flashbacks of being sexually abused by father and more memories returned. The violence continued with my father hurling various objects at us and calling me useless for not being a boy. The next year, I started experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. I attempted another suicide; the final push to act on it came after my father touched me again.
On my 16th birthday, I arrived at Dayspring Residential Treatment Centre and my life has never been the same ever since. Dayspring turned out to be a strong pillar of support, helping me through difficult times in school and with my family. Even when I experienced suicidal thoughts, the staff never gave up on me and remained understanding and patient.
I learnt that life is really unpredictable and we should not take things for granted. For me, I took my own mental health and well-being for granted. I never imagined I would ever be diagnosed with depression. Being at Dayspring RTC helped me to organise my thoughts. Surprisingly, when I saw my father for the first time after entering Dayspring RTC, I was not angry at all. I felt at peace. I realised I had forgiven him. I told him that I believed he was a good person deep down. I understood: it is through forgiveness that we free ourselves and others from the invisible shackles that once held all of us down. This was when I knew the impact that Dayspring left on me.